Village Voice

"Tea," says ritualist Donna Henes, "is on the queen," grandly gesturing toward a plate heaped with cookies at the tour launch for her self-published book The Queen of My Self: Stepping Into Sovereignty at Midlife, released just before Christmas. We're standing around Bluestockings, the Allen Street bookstore, on a recent frigid evening, amid anti-imperialist lit and gray "Power to the People" T-shirts. Henes, a writer and artist who's hosted hundreds of thousands at multicultural ceremonies in honor of the seasons and of human life cycles in over 100 cities in nine countries since 1972, has published three other books and a quarterly journal, Always in Season, and released a CD. Her rousing "Full Snow Moon Drumming Circle," a winter ceremony designed to refuel light-starved New Yorkers, is scheduled for February 23 at 7:30 p.m.

Henes and her Monarch Press partners booked time at Bluestockings, unaware that the severely cash-strapped women's bookstore had been reborn as a radical hangout likely to draw young activists who hate capitalism and love dyke erotica. These young'uns, of course, don't show up for Henes's event, but several mature women and a couple of men bearing bouquets, Henes' devotees hailing from outer boroughs and burbs, arrive to give their beloved "urban shaman" a warm send-off.

At age 59, their queen is a font of cheer, ablaze in color—coppery hair, raspberry scarf, cranberry velvet jacket, sparkling gold tinsel snaking around her forehead. Two small dogs dart about the audience's feet, yapping and sparring while, unperturbed and serene, she reads on. She concludes her remarks by leading us all in a traditional royal wave—fingers flattened, a shallow twist of the wrist. A little lighthearted theater to dance the revolution forward. But unlike the over-50 gals in Sue Ellen Cooper's similarly regal Red Hat Society, Henes' enthusiasts appear less interested in Amtrak discounts and shopping for tchotchkes than in achieving psychological, spiritual, and social change.

Before undertaking her round of special appearances, the perpetually busy monarch—counselor, healer, ceremonialist, drumming circle leader, support group facilitator, peace activist, and "spirit shop" proprietor—graciously agreed to answer a few questions. CLICK HERE to read more

Book Pleasures

The Queen of My Self is not just another self-help book. Instead, it is a new way to look at life for women who are “no longer Maidens” but not so old that they are ready for a nursing home or dirt nap. Henes has a new land for us ladies who want more from life and it’s called “Sovereignty in Midlife.” If you haven’t become Queen of yourself yet, this is a must read book.

I learned that there are three stages to a woman’s life— Maiden, Mother and Crone. Maiden is the fair young thing, before motherhood and long before Crone. Mother is the childbearing, career era, after Maiden and just before Crone. Crone is the “wizened and wily old lady.” The woman we become after “the dizzying maze of menopause and emerg(ing) at the other end” can be the dark area in between.

Until I read Henes’ work, I wondered whom I was and how I had ended up in this dark place where I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be (sometimes it’s difficult when we don’t have a title). I knew that I was well past Maiden, through Mother, but hadn’t yet arrived at Crone (I wasn’t feeling the wizened and wily old lady feelings). I had assumed that these things would come magically because there sure weren’t any role models around for me to fashion myself after (I assumed that this midlife phase was a waiting area so I could hop the Crone train). CLICK HERE to read more

Michigan Women's Forum

For centuries, women fell into three, well-defined categories, following the hormonal curve from first menses through menopause and straight on ‘til death.

Times have changed, and our need to redefine womanhood seems to be following. No longer do post-menopausal women instantly enter ‘cronehood’ with its stooped and wizened imagery.

In fact, enlightened and powerful women in mid-years often begin new lives with a sense of freedom, following changes in family and lifestyle.

They become, author Donna Henes says, The Queen of My Self.

Subtitled Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife, this 2005 release begins by delicately weaving a convincing fabric of wisdom and logic, describing the ancient archetypes and why they no longer apply. Everything here we already know to be true, whether we are Queens or members of her court. CLICK HERE to read more

Armchair Interviews

The author’s idea for women about aging will inspire you to find your own ideas—and your own way of taking control of your life and destiny.

Welcome to my life—and the millions of mid-life, post-menopausal women living life strong and loud. This time of life is a mixture of new things, exciting and thrilling—and troubling and frightening things—all tied up in the radical changes called midlife.

The Crone is the ancient one, the wise one, the all-knowing, all-giving one who dispenses her knowledge with patience and largesse. Without the role model, we have to invent one for ourselves.

“The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another I is becoming, and so far I have not had to complain of her.”—George Sand, French writer (1804-1876). An FYI, George Sand was a French romantic woman writer using a man’s name. She was known for her numerous love affairs with such prominent figures.

The author explains that many women are having Croning ceremonies to celebrate the end of their childbearing years. A recent Gallop Poll of women 50 to 65 revealed that: 51% felt the happiest now than ever before; 10% felt their happiest time was in their 20s; 17% in their 30s; and 15% in their 40s. Hmmm, most of us are happiest since we lost what society seems to value most: sexual allure and childbearing capabilities. CLICK HERE to read more