It was one of those mornings when
I was struggling to get up and get going. Limping into the
bathroom on my chronically sore heel, I glimpsed my face
in the mirror, eyes swollen and deeper lines, and I quickly
looked away! Settling into a hot bath, I browsed through
a yoga magazine filled with young yoginis free of cellulite
or wrinkles and thought, if I just practice more maybe I’ll
look like them. With a sigh I realized that even 35 years
of practicing yoga, meditation, and taking vitamins, supplements
and eating organically, hasn’t kept me from getting
older.
And “disappearing”. It
seems like I’ve fallen off the radar screen of not
only men, but the culture in general. Something I wasn’t
totally conscious of— being valued simply for being
young and attractive— is now gone. I feel a pang for
the loss of that younger self, more aware of her imperfections
than her gifts. Plus going through helping my younger partner
leave to “find himself”, has left me alone really
for the first time in my adult life. Even though it happens
to so many women, I never expected it to happen to me.
Over a forbidden cup of coffee (which
dramatically improves my state of mind!), I leaf through
Whole Life Times. I begin reading a letter to the editor
by a woman complaining about a recent cover featuring a
beautiful young woman. Perusing magazine covers has convinced
me that only young and beautiful people are newsworthy,
so I know how she feels. Then she gets to the Sports
Illustrated bathing suit issue, which brought up such
conflicting feelings for me— disgust that women are
still primarily valued for their attractiveness to men and
the wish that I looked like that myself.
I return to the letter and pick up
at this sentence: “I remember several months ago WHT’s
back cover of the exquisitely beautiful Layne Redmond in
her drumming trance...” My mind goes completely blank
in total surprise. I AM Layne Redmond. Never have I thought
of myself as exquisitely beautiful, much less read it unexpectedly
in print.
Yes, this is a great photo, and not
retouched, but here’s the background information.
This image is the result of an ad campaign and very expensive
photo shoot with a makeup artist, two art directors, and
photographer’s assistant. The photos were instantly
displayed on a large video monitor so that immediate corrections
to angles and lighting were made.
And I am playing the world’s
oldest known drum, associated with women, priestesses and
goddesses for thousands of years — an archetypal image
that awakens ancient memories within our minds.
The purpose of this ad was to promote
a product— the Remo drums I designed along with the
concept of drumming for self-transformation. Often referred
to as a “product” myself, I’ve decided
that’s okay, if it returns the frame drum and all
the power that it holds to women.
Knowing that many women famous for
their beauty have never thought they were beautiful, can’t
it also be true that we have another kind of beautiful power
in our maturity not yet acknowledged by the culture? Isn’t
it our responsibility for owning it and for making it visible
for others?
In Immortal Sisters, Secrets
of Taoist Women, translated by Thomas Cleary, Chinese
women masters develop their spiritual powers after raising
their families and passing through menopause. They concentrated
on “becoming really alive” through explorations
of the ultimate nature of mind. Many belonged to the Complete
Reality School and had titles like: The Real Human,
Free Human of Mystic Peace, and True Immortal with
a Spirit Solidified by Serene Tranquility. A true gift
of finding myself alone is the opportunity for total commitment
to my own spiritual process, music and art, which are now
blooming in extraordinary and unforeseeable ways because
of my undiluted attention. Solitude is powerful.
In The Queen of My Self, Stepping
into Sovereignty in Mid-life, Donna Henes notes millions
of women have reached mid-life with a level of education,
freedom and financial strength unparalleled in recorded
history. No longer Maidens, Mothers, and not yet old Crones,
they ask what now? What roles do dynamic, accomplished middle-aged
women take next? Donna proposes the concept of the mid-life
Queen, focused on spiritual wisdom, mastery and self-esteem.
Yes, it is time to be the Queen of
Our Self, the High Priestess of Our Own Life, and claim
the respect that we deserve while shouldering our own hard
earned authority, wisdom and inner beauty.
— Layne Redmond
